Has it been a great
year for you? Make next year your best yet for you and your honey.
Reflect and identify
relationship trends before looking ahead
When you reflect on
your year, you will notice some common trends. Some trends were good for your
relationship, and some were bad. Before you start making resolutions, setting
goals, and determining your direction for the New Year, figure this out. Once
you know the trends, you will know what worked and what didn't work. You can
then move forward from that point.
Forget resolutions -
choose something profound to focus on
Several years ago, I
decided to do away with New Year's resolutions. Instead, I decided to create
one theme or focus for the year. This is one guide to direct my year, help me
make decisions, and to use as a focal point when I got off track. It has worked
wonders! Instead of making resolutions, create a theme for your relationship.
You can base what you do in your relationship on this theme. Our theme for this
year is to make us a priority. So when we have conflicting choices, we choose
the one that aligns best with our focus, or theme.
Read (or write) a
relationship book together
The act of reading
together is a great way to unwind. And when you read books that help your
relationship, it is a double win. My wife and I can definitely do better at
this, as we have not made it a priority. In addition, with my wife's help I'll
be publishing a marriage book in the New Year. Whether you are a writer or not,
the practice of reading together will benefit your relationship.
Get sweaty together
and physically challenge yourselves
This past year, we got
sweaty together. My wife, who doesn't really enjoy running, agreed to run a 5k
with me. We trained together for about 4 weeks and then completed a 5km
together. We ended up exceeding our expectations! Then we started working out
in the early mornings by starting the training video Insanity. Both
challenged us in different ways, and an appreciation, respect, and support for
one another has followed. We are planning more of the same in the new year,
including completing Insanity and running more 5kms and/or
longer races.
Be aware of where
your relationship is today
We have been through
ups and downs in our marriage. We have experienced several different stages in
marriage. One night, we sat down and reflected on this and I decided to write
about each stage of marriage we experienced. As we talked and I wrote, we
realized where our marriage is today, and how important this stage is to us,
our kids, and other marriages. Knowing where your marriage stands today will
help you continue to grow together, and eventually experience all there is in
marriage.
Be open and prepare
for change
My wife and I were
born and raised in the same town, and we have lived in our current city since
college. Our state is what we know. But this year, we opened the door to
something different. We actually considered moving to a new state. A state
nowhere near where we live now. And we were prepared to just about drop
everything to do it. It came very close to happening, but the opportunity that
was going to help us do so was put on hold. But that process, and excitement,
of getting completely out of our comfort zones and starting something new,
engaged us and brought us together.
Get away from
everything together
We went on a weekend
retreat together in late spring. This was a few months after our income began
to grow again, and we solidified our housing situation. Things were better, but
still tough. At first, it seemed the timing of the retreat was bad, as a lot
was going on, but the minute we arrived we began to think differently. That
weekend retreat was a huge breakthrough for our marriage. What we shared and
experienced impacted the rest of the year and beyond in our relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment